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Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Falling Apart.

Im falling apart
Im barely breathing
with a broken heart.
thats still beating.

although I am passed alot of this, I never want to forget what that pain feels like... pain means compassion.
If I can remember the pain, then I can relate to others....When your heart is broken, if you are like me, you want to isolate yourself... you hold out your arms with your hands out like a stop signal to protect yourself... you never want to feel that again..... yesterday the song "Stay" by Sugarland came on...and it is about a woman begging and pleading for her man to stay...she is tired of sharing and being the end of the song, she tells him that next time he wants to come back he can just stay with the other woman... that song hits home.... I remember begging, I remember being on my knees pleading. I remember completely falling apart. I remember that helpless, heart wrenching pain...I remember being isolated in a closet and not being able to breathe, or feel like I could even survive the next 5 minutes.... oh, I remember.
I also remember getting up...barely somedays, but I did.
and over a year later, I am in a new home, I am making new memories...& my wreck of a past is just that...its the past.
It has not been easy... not at all.
but if you are finding yourself in the middle of that pain....just remember two things.
one- you WILL get through it
two- you will be more compassionate and stronger then you ever believed possible.
All you have to do is breathe...

the ending of the song from the beginning of this post is:

Im falling apart
Im barely breathing
with a broken heart
thats still beating
In the pain, there is healing
In Your Name I find a meaning
So Im holding on

hold on.
-xoxo K-

God gets all the praise for where I am. In the pain He healed Him I found meaning. I found my constant source of peace & joy. Thank You Jesus.