Kari Jobe "You Are For Me"

"I know that You are for me....
I know that You will never forsake me in my weaknesses"

"Greatness is not where we stand, but in what direction we are moving. We must sail sometimes with the wind, and sometimes against it...but sail on we must. And not drift, nor lie at anchor."
                                                                                                                          -Oliver Wendell Smith

Yesterday would have been 8 years of marriage.
I feel like I was thrown away.
This has been a year of death.
I am happy the year is almost over.
It has tried to kill me.
For awhile there I thought it might.....

I am stronger.
I have become a completely different person.
I feel like I could handle anything now.
I have lost many friends & even family.
I have realized who my true friends really are.
The ones who have loved me, supported me...
the people who showed up...to help carry the burdens..
to help mend the pieces with their kind words, gifts, hugs..
I would have died without them.
I am so thankful for them.
My views on love and friendships is completely different now.
I am happy about that.
It would have been 8 years.
Its over now.
Life goes on.
Sometimes you dont choose the things that happen to you, but...they still happen.
And you have two choices...to die where you are...or keep moving.
I am still breathing. I am still alive.
Pain and heartbreak make you see who you really are.
I like me.
And I know what my worth is.
xoxo

The road is long
Dont look back
Discover the unknown
Face your fears
Overcome them
Let go...


photo by Elle Moss

I am in love with these prints by Elle Moss & Pamela Klaffke

They are dreamy.

xoxo

David Crowder*Band - How He Loves (Official Music Video)

"if His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking"


The thing is, is that people judge, people hate, people will cast their views and opinions on you to make you feel a certain way...BUT God thinks differently of you. His love covers a multitude of sins, His love covers your past...it covers your weaknesses...His love is our prize. Hold onto the prize & forget what others think. Gods love can overwhelm you...and it can become contagious. Its that incredible. Love wins.

this is me writing to God.
I was having a hard day the other day. Crying ...alot.
divorce is hard. going through all the emotions...then adding in a new love to the mix....its alot for me emotionally. i am not complaining about the new guy though because he has become my best friend and i KNOW God brought him into my life. i cant tell you how many times he has gotten my mascara & snot all over his shirts. he is so patient. so caring. i need that. i thank God for him.
The other day....i was driving and worrying....crying and worrying...THEN i look up and see the most beautiful sunset i have ever seen.
It was for me.
I lifted my hand up to God and said "Please take this....i dont have the energy or the strength for any of this"
I cant explain to you the peace that came over me.
It was like He was waiting on me to give it to Him. I usually do give my cares to Him...but for some reason the past week or so, i hadnt. I had been getting down again. The days and nights that you sit in your shower and you dont want to move....the days you get of bed but dont want to face the day. The days you understand why people want to kill themselves or why people become alcoholics. i get it. i totally get it.
What i do know, is that the temporary fixes are just that...temporary...
But my God is constant. and the fix is much greater. the high I get from His presence overwhelms me to the core.
I get it. the people hurting so bad they cant breathe. i hear you. my heart is breaking for you...and with you.
Jesus is THE fix....He is THE way. the way to a peace that astounds you...the way to a new love. the way to a new mindset...the way to life.
the way to heal a broken heart...
My heart is peaceful because of Jesus.
My heart is heavy for all of you who are hurting.
My God is my secret place....the place no one else could ever fill. the perfect completion to all my mess.
He loves my mess....He is the author of perfection...and in Him alone am i made whole again.
I want to be whole....therefore I rely on the constant.
xoxoxo

picture taken by Elsie Larson