I have learned so much about myself through this. Things I would have never learned otherwise. I am finding joy in the midst of this disaster. I am breathing...I am alive. And that is a great thing. Today is a gift.
How God picks you up when you call on Him, how He offers grace over and over and over again....I make so many mistakes and all I hear Him whisper is how lovely He sees me. Its incredible to know Him on that level.... I'm not sure I would know Him like this unless this had happened to me. My husband leaving me for another woman, looking me in the eyes and telling me he doesnt love me and that he doesnt want me anymore. THAT rocks you. That changes you forever....for 2 months that rang in my head over & over again like a horrible, depressing song....causing me to be paralyzed, unable to function. GOD and only God came to my rescue, He saw me lying there, lifeless...and in that split second that I called out to Him, He came to me, without judgement, without hesitation, He picked me up and He carried me. He carried me for a thousand miles. He didnt just throw me over His shoulder, He gently picked me up, held my head, wiping my tears the entire journey, whispering to me my worth...telling me that He wonderfully created me and that I am perfect to Him. He told me that He is my prince and my completion...He made me feel safe. He carried me the entire journey....loving me selflessly the entire way. I have never felt more safe, satisfied & loved then I have these last 6 months, in the most devastating time of my entire life. I thought I had become the unloved woman. The one man who vowed his life to me, promised to love me and take care of me....walked right out on me...and cheated before he did. Left me crying ...in fetal position. Not my finest hour.
BUT HERE I AM. I am ok. I am breathing. I am moving on...& with confidence of WHO I AM. Jake does not define me and he never did. God does. I am happy & filled with joy. I am letting go...and I am forgiving him. I am excited about my second chance at love.....
Jesus, my constant. My lover, my every breath. He not only carried me but then promised me abundant life. I am trusting Him for favor and blessings in my future. I believe it and i am so excited.