yes, i have moved on....

i started dating this really great guy. in fact, i am totally smitten by him. everything within me tried to shut him out because of fear of being hurt again...but when i realized that we only live once and i have to LET GO of my past and move ahead.....it became easier to let him in......... plus, the honest truth ...i have two choices: close myself off to love again and end up alone....OR give love another chance even if i get hurt again....you only live one time....i would rather be at the end of my life exhausted from hurt and pain from loving TOO much and giving TOO much and be empty then to be 80 years old, alone, depressed and "what iffing"everything....i will NOT what if...because i'm goin for it ya'll!!!!
i have so much love and support its amazing. i am happy again.....and did i mention completely smitten??? :)
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life is messy....life is crazy....life does not always go according to plan....
...if it did....i would still be married and probably pregnant with another baby...but life took another turn....and that is ok...
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also....i have had hundreds of BEAUTIFUL, painful stories filtering in to me through writing this blog....first of all let me say that YOU are amazing...right where you are....exactly at this moment. God adores you. EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE. in fact, He cant take His eyes off of you. I have read from many people how it is hard to see God through difficult situations...whether its a divorce, a death, any tragedy....i want to encourage you to see that only good things come from God. That God didnt do that to you...in fact, He is waiting on you to let Him carry you.
its funny the endless amount of hours we spend blaming ourselves for things that have happened that were not in our control. i have done it..and sometimes i still do...
God says differently though. He says His grace is abundant and overflowing and that He died to wash us clean.
And can i be honest when i say I have forgiven Jake....i pray for him.....and i am going to get to a place where i forgive her too. and pray for her. i am not there yet...but i will get there....especially if she is going to be my kids step mom....THAT is not easy. it sickens me to be honest. but i have to remember i didnt do this....and if i allow GOD to take control He will...and He will cover my kids and be with them when i am not there.
I have to let go everyday...its a process....
in the meantime, yes i have moved on to another try at love...and i am excited...and oh yes, completely smitten.

xoxoxo